Ted wants to know why Victoria is the wrong girl for Klaus.
How I Met Your Mother Season 8 - Episode 1 (with subtitles) - "Lifelong Treasure of Destiny" - "Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz"




Ted: Uh, excuse me.

Klaus: Oh, hey, it's you.
Ja okay, I'm not sure what kind of vibe I was giving off before, but I am not interested in your schnitzel, okay?

Ted: No, no, no, no, no-- God, no.
I-I just have one quick question:
Victoria seems like a great girl. Why wouldn't you want to marry her?

Klaus: Ach, okay, Victoria is wunderbar.
I'm sorry, wunderbar is the German word for wonderful.

Ted: Yeah, no, I know.

Klaus: Oh, you speak German?
Sie sprechen Deutsch?! Ich habe keine Freunde, die Deutsch sprechen in Amerika!
Das macht mich so einsam, so einsam!
TRANSLATION: Do you speak German?! I don't have any Friends in America who speak German!
This makes me so lonely, so lonely!

Ted: No... No, no, no... No, just-just-just the one word.

Klaus: Oh. Oh.
Ah... Okay, Victoria.
There is a word in German:
Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz.
And the closest translation would be...
"Lifelong Treasure of Destiny."
And Victoria is wunderbar, but she is not my Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz.
She is my Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand, you know?
You know wunderbar but you don't know Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand?
That is something we learn in kindergarten.
I'm sorry, "kindergarten" is the German word for--
No, no, I know that one. Oh, okay.
But you don't know Beinaheleidenschaftsgegenstand?
You are maddeningly inconsistent.
It means...
"the thing that is almost
the thing that you want...
...but it's not quite."
Das ist Victoria to me.

Ted: How do you know she's not Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz?
I mean, maybe as the years go by, she'll get Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz-ier.

Klaus: Oh, nein, nein, nein.
Lebenslangerschicksalsschatz is not something that develops over time.
It is something that happens instantaneously.
It courses through you like the water of a river after a storm...
...filling you and emptying you all at once.
You feel it throughout your body...
In your hands...
in your heart...
in your stomach...
...in your skin...
Of course you feel it in your Schlauchmachendejungen.
Pardon my French. Have you ever felt this way about someone?

Ted: Yeah, I think so.

Klaus: If you have to think about it,
you have not felt it.

Ted: And you're absolutely sure
you'll find that someday?

Klaus: Of course. Everyone does eventually.
You just never know when or where.

Ted: And he was right.
Unfortunately, the "when"
of it was still a little ways down the road.
But the "where" of it?


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Song in the end: The Funeral - Band of Horses