People hate it when you set boundaries in relationships. Here are the steps to do it without coming across as selfish.

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00:00 - Difficulty in setting boundaries
00:41 - Why set your boundaries?
Dr. Suri reflects upon his own experience of having his #boundaries questioned and pushed against, and acknowledges the value of clearly knowing and defining the why behind setting your boundaries. Remind yourself why you need this, and this reminder will become your strength and your shield when others who are used to taking advantage of you push back on you setting #healthyboundaries.

01:59 - What are your boundaries?
Setting boundaries effectively requires a thoughtful approach, where it is important to take the time to clearly define what these boundaries are. Everyone's needs will be different, so there is no right or wrong answer - whatever works best for you should be your focus.

And if you aren't sure what boundaries you need, then don't worry. Dr Suri presents 5 questions that will help you define your boundaries - From physical and emotional boundaries to defining your deal-breakers.

04:40 - Communicating your boundaries
Communicating boundaries effectively is an important skill to have, and it does not come easily. To ensure that your message is heard and respected, you must be clear and concise with your words, while also managing people's defensiveness.

Being clear and concise will help keep others from feeling defensive. Additionally, it is important to remember that their discomfort is not your responsibility; you cannot control how someone else reacts. Therefore, staying calm when communicating boundaries can go a long way in managing people's defensiveness. Inviting others to share their perspective on why something was hurtful or offensive (without making accusations) can help preserve the relationship by showing that you care about them and want to protect the relationship from further harm. Ultimately, communicating your boundaries effectively requires finding a balance between clarity and gentleness in order for those around you to understand and respect them.

06:46 - Working through the guilt feeling
Setting boundaries in relationships is important, but people who are used to taking advantage of you don't like it when you establish boundaries in relationships. But the act of setting boundaries can come with guilt. This is particularly true for empaths and people pleasers, as they tend to struggle with the difference between selfishness vs boundaries. Working through this guilt feeling is crucial to maintain your boundaries.