In this video I explain two Transactional Analysis concepts: ego states and transactions. Eric Berne is the founder of Transactional Analysis (TA) and he proposed that individuals have three distinct ego states known Parent, Adult and Child. Each ego state consists of a set of behaviours, thoughts and feelings and reflects a different way we interact with the world and those around us.

🔵 VIDEO TIMINGS

00:00 What are Ego States?
2:09 The Controlling Parent and Nurturing Parent
2:59 The Adapted Child and Free Child
4:32 The Adult
5:08 Complementary Transactions
6:37 Crossed Transactions
8:34 Ulterior Transactions

🔵 THE PARENT EGO STATE

The Parent ego state has two parts, the Controlling Parent (frequently called the Critical Parent) and the Nurturing Parent. When in positive Controlling Parent the parental energy is genuinely aimed to provide safe boundaries and limits with the intention to protect. When expressed negatively it can be over controlling, judgemental, critical and authoritarian. The other part of the Parent ego state is called the Nurturing Parent. When expressive positively the Nurturing Parent can be caring, supportive, protective and loving. When expressed negatively it can be smothering and overbearing.

🔵 THE CHILD EGO STATE

The Child ego state expresses itself through feelings and instinctive reactions. It functions in two distinct modes. For example, you are in your Free Child when engaging in behaviours from childhood that pay no attention to parental rules or limits. Sometimes this can be positive and the Free Child can creative, spontaneous and playful. Sometimes if can be negative and the The Free Child can respond in socially unconstrained ways such as belching loudly at a dinner party or ride a motorcycle at full speed along a busy road. The Adapted Child responds on the basis of internalised social learning. You are in Adapted Child when you behave in ways in which you conform to parental or societal standards. There are thousands of rules we follow about how to live life and be accepted in the world. Before I cross the road I look left and right as my mother taught me. When my husband asks me If I’d like a drink of tea I say “please” as I was taught it would be rude if I didn’t. By replaying these rule following patterns we usually get what we want comfortably for ourselves and other people. We can speak of positive Adapted Child to describe these productive ways of behaving. By contrast we are said to be in negative Adapted Child when we replay childhood patterns of behaviour that are no longer appropriate to our grown up situation. As a young person you may have learned to sulk or manipulate you get attention. Then as a grown up you sulk and manipulate in the hope you will get what you want.

🔵 THE ADULT EGO STATE

The Adult ego state is not subdivided. We class any behaviour as Adult which is in response to the here and now situation using all the persons grown up resources. The Adult is the ego state of rationality and reason. It functions to mediate between Parent and Child ego states. The Adult checks our external world and brings realism and rationality to our internal view.

🔵 TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS

I personally recommend the following Transactional Analysis books:

☐ TA Today by Ian Stewart and Vann Jones: https://amzn.to/3DoWrge
☐ Transactional Analysis 100 Key Points and Techniques by Mark Widdowson: https://amzn.to/409yaER
☐ Transactional Analysis for Depression by Mark Widdowson: https://amzn.to/3JhI15w

🔵 WORK WITH ME

If you'd like to work with me, or a member of the Lewis Psychology team, please click on the links below:

☐ Lewis Psychology CIC (for face to face therapy): https://www.lewispsy.org.uk
☐ Lewis Psychology Online (for online therapy): https://lewispsyonline.co.uk

🔵 ABOUT TERESA LEWIS

Teresa Lewis is the founder and Director of Lewis Psychology and a Senior Accredited psychotherapist with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (MBACP Snr. Accred). Qualified in 1995, Teresa has been providing counselling and psychotherapy treatment for nearly 30 years. Teresa holds a masters degree in counselling and psychotherapy and is a qualified EMDR Practitioner having completed training accredited with EMDR Europe. Teresa is also a qualified adult educator and an accredited Mindfulness teacher As a recognised expert in her field Teresa is frequently asked to conduct editorial reviews and endorse counselling and psychotherapy books for international publishing houses.

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