We’ve received a substantial number of questions from our listeners regarding familial estrangement – when one family member distances themselves from the others, or chooses not to interact with them at all. It’s a common and extremely challenging situation, and the pain related to it can be particularly intense during the holidays.

Today on Being Well, Dr. @RickHanson and I discuss family estrangement, particularly between parents and children, and how the questions we engage in this territory apply more broadly to how we balance our own boundaries with the responsibilities we have toward other people.

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Key Topics:
0:00 Introduction
3:00 Our framework for discussing estrangement in this episode
6:10 Joining and distancing
9:40 Duties in relationship between children and aging parents
15:50 Parents’ behavior then vs. now
19:00 Distinguishing family systems from parents as individuals
24:40 Functional forgiveness when someone doesn’t show remorse
27:20 Choosing the kind of relationship we want to have
32:35 Parents’ pain when children distance
34:40 How parents can consider the child’s perspective
41:00 Grieving an estranged relationship internally
47:10 Approaches to interacting with estranged children
52:20 How to decide whether or not to engage in a relationship
56:00 Awareness of cultural influences
58:15 Ownership and what parents can do to repair
1:04:05 The wide range of variables influencing family relationships
1:08:25 Grieving the phantom presence
1:09:50 Recap

Who Am I: I'm Forrest, the co-author of Resilient (https://amzn.to/3iXLerD) and host of the Being Well Podcast (https://apple.co/38ufGG0). I'm making videos focused on simplifying psychology, mental health, and personal growth.

You can follow me here:
🎤 https://apple.co/38ufGG0
🌍 https://www.forresthanson.com
📸   / f.hanson