Parody of the life of a senior medical student. Original song by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis

Performed, written, directed by Mad Slice "T" for University of Manitoba Beer and Skits Night.


Lyrics:
I'm gonna rock these wards
white coat clipboard in my pocket
i-i-i'm gunnin'
gonna be a doctor
this is freaking awesome

Walk onto the wards, say "What up?" like i'm a big shot
Nah, i'm pumped they let me sew all of that skin up
roundin' again, comin' up with the management
attendings like, "dang you a the level of a resident"
getting prepped for surgery, scrubbin' up beside the sink
dressed in all green, 'cept my OR shoes, those are pink
reading up the x-rays, strengthening my knowledge base
making sure i get that foley in before we start the case

But hey, i'll be a doctor in may!

when a uti's happenin', i prescribe some ciprofloxacin
sanford guide's what i'm checkin to make sure the dose is accurate
but septra's an alternative; amp-gent if complicated
and we know that if all else fails then we can just pip-tazo it!

i'mma check your GI bleed
gotta do a DRE
But I can't feel nothin', sorry, time for colonoscopy
Admit, diagnose, and some diet orders
Activity, vitals, IV and then some drugs, of course
they come in with a prolapse, i push back in that prolapse
multiparity has caused your pelvic floor to collapse
uh-oh, uh-oh, your face is all yellow
hyperbilirubinemia cuz that bile in there just can't flow
I can see that femur, it's fractured all across
orthopods will be like, "there'll be minimal blood loss"

Chorus

Watcha know bout gettin' pimped when your roundin'?
watcha knowin' bout feeling shame when you're floundering
i'm digging, i'm diggin', searching my mind for the answers
SIADH is a salt wasting disaster
So thank Bernstein for teaching me kidney back in Med 2
cuz right now i'm up in here stunnin'
when i'm not at CTU you can find me in the (library)
i'mma i'mma gonna ace my licensing (LMCC)

I got RT and OT, social work and consultant to sign off on your case,
ya i rocked that disposition
ain't no more cancer to detect since your in remission
yo, you can call me "CanMeds" - future physicia
Nurse be like, "oh this baby ain't looking right"
I'm like, "yo, this is some crazy dehydration"
let's start the admission, we'll do some simple addition
use the kg of your baby to calculate how much fluid
i call that my pediatric tool kit
i want those ins and outs to be accurate
that kid's sick though
but an UptoDate search gives me the DDx for his gastro
Paeds, Surg, Family, Obs/Gyne and then psych so
Clerkships go you thinkin' like a Doc
So much to learn though
Much more to learn, yo

Chorus

Scrubs, white coat, stethoscope
This is incredible
I'll pay my big fat loan
When I get a job down the road
I let the Match Machine
Decide my destiny
It told me Surgery
Will be my Residency

I'm gonna rock those wards
white coat clipboard in my pocket
i- i'm done gunnin'
soon I'll be a doctor
THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME!