If you are wondering "is it time?", here is a great resource: http://www.mnpets.com/wp-content/uplo...

Buddy. Yeah, he was 'just' a dog. But it was just him and me for a lot of years. Knowing he was home and loving me kept some depression I had from becoming much much worse, I'm sure of it.

I've often wondered why I was not consumed with grief after I had Buddy put to sleep. He was fine on Thanksgiving day 2015, but the day after he wouldn't eat and just wanted to lie around. Over the following weekend, I considered taking him to emergency care, but he started eating a bit of turkey & rice that I made for him, so I figured he'd be okay until Monday to see the vet. They got me in pretty quickly Monday morning and couldn't tell what was wrong, so sent me to the University of Minnesota Veterinary Hospital for more thorough tests. They found that he had an anal gland carcinoma which involved his lymph nodes, and after an x-ray discovered it had already spread to his lungs. Any treatment would just be palliative. So, I took him back home with some pain meds for him, and waited to see how he would do.

Buddy went downhill quickly. By Wednesday, I knew I didn't want him to suffer anymore, so scheduled a veterinarian to come to my house to put him to sleep on Friday. Thursday was spent doing things Buddy liked to do, and could still do. We took a long car ride to his favorite boarding kennel, where he rallied and ate lots of treats. But that evening he wouldn't eat again, and was panting. I thought he was in pain, and I didn't want that to continue.

So, on Friday, the veterinarian came. Buddy was actually having a pretty good morning, but I knew it couldn't last. Anal gland cancer is almost always fatal, unless found in its early stages. In Buddy's case, the cancer had spread throughout his body.

I put on soft music, let Buddy & my other dog Scout rest in his favorite spot - in the bed in my guest room with windows overlooking the street. I had a bit of alone time with just Buddy after he had received a sedative. The sedative was stronger than I had thought it would be, and Buddy completely conked out. So, I had the veterinarian let Scout back in the room, and Buddy got the final injection.

It was all rather peaceful, and almost 'beautiful'. Buddy passed without incident, and Scout & I got to say our goodbyes. I definitely recommend having your pet put to sleep in your home if at all possible.

I have not experienced the overcoming grief I expected. I think that is for three reasons. 1) Scout was still there and needed me, 2) the euthanasia done at home was comforting, but I think the main reason is shown in this video - 3) Buddy's final 8 months (with Scout) were very happy for him. We went out to parks and adventures more than ever before. I feel good that Buddy had such a great summer and fall.

Of course, I so wish he were still here. Scout could have used his continued guidance as she grew into adolescence. I have a new 2nd dog now. He and Scout are great pals, but he is young, generally fearful, and can't provide Scout with the calm confidence and stability that she was used to. I've taken on that role now. That added responsibility of having two adolescent dogs, one of which is fearful, takes a lot of time. But, it also keeps my depression away.

I miss, however, having my longtime companion. Buddy and I just knew how to get along together. Eight years will do that. I wish it could have been longer.

Tears in Heaven - by Eric Clapton. Cover performance by Austin Criswell.
   / @acmusic7  
Goodbye my Lover – by James Blunt. Fingerstyle Solo Acoustic Guitar by Albert Gyorfi.
   / @albertgyorfi  
To Where You Are – originally by Josh Groban. Cover performance by Kevin Faraci.
   / cirquevocalist  
Relaxing Music - YellowBrickCinema (the same music I had playing when Buddy was put to sleep)
   / @yellowbrickcinema