Watch yesterday’s video Narcissistic Abuse: 21 Signs You’ve Recovered, Healed, Moved On    • Narcissistic Abuse: 21 Signs You’ve R...  

In the 1990s, I coined the phrase “narcissistic abuse” to describe a subtype of abusive behavior that was all-pervasive (across multiple areas of life) and involved a plethora of behaviors and manipulative or coercive techniques. Narcissistic abuse differed from all other types of abuse in its range, sophistication, duration, versatility, and express and premeditated intention to negate and vitiate the victim’s personal autonomy, agency, self-efficacy, and wellbeing.

Sadistic abuse (dark tetrad)

NARCISSISTIC

All-pervasive

Driven by phases of shared fantasy

Aims to negate the victim, convert her into the idealized internal object (coercive snapshotting)

Recovery via separation-individuation

PSYCHOPATHIC

Domain-specific and criminal

Driven by power and control

Aims to accomplish goals

Recovery via the legal system

BORDERLINE

Coercive (external regulation)

Driven by anxieties

Part of the repetition compulsion

Recovery by mirroring (rendering oneself unfit and unsafe to act as external regulator)

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