WTF Does Private Equity Actually Do?
How Money Works How Money Works
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 Published On Jan 28, 2024

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Private equity has minted more global billionaires than Oil and Technology.

It’s a four point seven TRILLION-dollar [$4,700,000,000,000] global business that according to some outlets has crushed your ability to buy a house and your chance to relive your childhood at Toys R Us. Private equity is simultaneously the ultimate career goal of every insufferable business bro AND the cause of all the world’s problems…

But what do these people actually do?

Private equity is nothing more than any investment company that invests into assets that are not listed on public markets. The variety of private equity companies is enormous.

Some private equity firms will invest in very early-stage startups and give them money to grow their business and acquire new customers, these firms tend to go by name venture capital, but that’s still a type of private equity. Other private equity companies focus on buying alternative assets like airports, toll roads, intellectual property rights and carbon credits.

These firms offer liquidity to asset holders that would find it almost impossible to sell what they own without their services; you can’t put your North Dakota drilling rights on Facebook Marketplace and expect to find a buyer. If something is worth money, there WILL be a private equity firm that will try and make a deal out of it. There are even private equity firms that are called a fund of funds, which you guessed it, raises money to invest into OTHER private equity funds, BUT when you hear politicians, journalists and angry people online talking about “private equity”, they are normally talking about the buyout funds…

If you can start and run a successful buyout fund, there is a good chance you will become a billionaire because these firms are fine tuned to make the most amount of money possible from buying entire companies. So, if you wake up one day and decide to start a private equity firm specializing in corporate buyouts here is what you will actually need to do in 3 easy steps. Step number one, before you even think about going out to find your first investor or acquisition opportunity is to get your corporate structure right.

So it’s time to learn How Money Works to find out what private equity firms actually do.

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