In this conversation, Yellow Chair Therapist, Mina Yoon, shares her experiences growing up with an emotionally immature parent and her late diagnosis of ADHD. We explore the complexity of parent-child relationships and the importance of setting boundaries. She highlights the impact of shame and the validation that comes with an ADHD diagnosis.


Takeaways

- Adult children of emotionally immature parents may struggle with setting boundaries and experience guilt and shame.
- Understanding the signs and symptoms of emotionally immature parents can help individuals recognize and address the impact on their lives.
- Starting the path of recovery without therapy can involve self-reflection, research, and self-compassion.
- Preserving the relationship with a parent while setting boundaries is possible and can be beneficial for one's mental health.
- Late diagnosis of ADHD is common, especially in women and people of color, and can provide validation and understanding.
- Hyper-focus is a common trait in ADHD, leading to intense interest in hobbies or activities that may be dropped abruptly.

Time Stamps

00:00 Introduction
03:59 Enjoyed preschool, felt like authentic self. Good food, friends, carefree, vivid memories.
08:17 Relating to books and being seen.
10:16 Emotionally immature parent acts like a child.
13:27 Asian family dynamics: trust, independence, and extremes.
17:28 Complex trauma leads to identity and control loss.
22:19 Cultural influence on setting boundaries with family.
25:12 Setting boundaries preserves relationships while prioritizing self.
28:40 Struggled academically after elementary school, college performance poor.
31:58 ADHD diagnosis helps reduce shame, provides validation.
36:48 Struggling with focus, need deadlines and consequences.
40:32 Being honest and apologizing helps manage shame.
43:39 Balancing self blame with reflection, overcoming challenges.
45:41 Surrendering addiction, seeking approval, learning from adversity.
49:55 Continuously working through life, a lifelong journey.
51:26 Finding freedom in small steps towards authenticity.