It isn’t realistic to aim never to argue with our partners; far better to learn how to argue fruitfully and well. This has a lot to do with allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.

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FURTHER READING

“Arguments in relationships are typically so regrettable and often so bitter, it’s natural to hope we might – with greater maturity – overcome them once and for all. But given what human nature is like, it would be unwise to make this our goal: the hope can’t be to eliminate arguments altogether, it should be to try to find our way to a better kind of argument. Arguments tend to start when we are confronted – usually rather suddenly – by what appears to us to be the radical selfishness, intransigence or sheer nastiness of the partner...”

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