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Hangmen was Sandra Bullock’s first movie, and it’s exactly what you’d expect: a bubbly rom-com with some solid laughs and a whole lotta heart. Wait, sorry, scratch that, Hangmen is actually a spy thriller involving a lot of schlubby guys and a commando named Dog Thompson who lives in a junkyard. Classic Sandy B!

Speaking of Dog Thompson, that character is played by someone named Dog Thomas. No, seriously. There’s also an actor named Kosmo Vinyl, and a role played by legendary boxer Jake LaMotta. Rarely has an opening credit sequence been so bountiful with surprises!

Hangmen centers on a college student whose deadbeat dad just happens to be an ex-military assassin on the run from some real bad dudes. Dad visits his son at college, promptly gets his roommate killed, and puts the boy and his girlfriend Sandra Bullock in mortal danger. Oh, Dad, stop visiting me at school, you’re so embarrassing!

From there, the middle-aged men are off to the races. Car chases, abandoned warehouses, barely intelligible phone calls with extreme close-ups of the actors’ faces, they do it all!

Time to make like the cowboys in that Pace Picante commercial from the ‘90s and “get a rope” for Hangmen, with Mike, Kevin and Bill!

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