Being surrounded by varying models of masculinity, I found that the phrase ‘Toxic Masculinity’ distracts from the much more subtle behaviors that wrongly shape boys into men. The clichéd examples of toxic masculinity show up in the media are very real. However, the most awful behaviors (anti-LGBTQ+, rape culture, and extreme emotional maturity) that speak the loudest. In my experience as a young man in Colorado, the best way to prevent these clichéd forms of ‘toxic masculinity’ is to address the much more subtle behaviors that are encouraged in schools, sports, families, politics, and friendships: the sneaky behaviors no one talks about when picturing the image of ‘toxic masculinity’. The phrase itself makes it too easy for men to feel defensive, as it’s associated with the worst of the worst. Therefore, by actually reflecting on these subtle behaviors, we notice them, we stop them, instead of labeling them. ‘Resilience’ is a word that has an opportunity to represent honest, vulnerable men, which is threatened by the polarizing term ‘toxic masculinity’ Reece MacKinney is a senior at Poudre High School, spending his whole life in Fort Collins. Growing up surrounded by different models of masculinity, his passions lie with how to define what masculinity is, and what it isn’t. He explores these passions through mentorship and restorative justice programs in his school and community, which promote emotional honesty. His work in these fields has inspired a love for developmental psychology, which he will study next fall at Duke University. However, it is his experiences in Fort Collins that he has learned the most from. Reece hopes to create comfortable spaces in his communities where vulnerability isn’t just tolerated, but accepted. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx