i really wish i knew how to start this

this day has just been weird. im still not processing it, i don't know if it's denial but it's not coming to my head that carl is dead, i don't know.

going into this episode we knew someone was gonna die because they promoted the episode that way and i saw 2 posters for this episode had bites so i thought someone was gonna get bitten but i forgot about that until the end when it seemed everything was fine...
i also read somewhere something about the actor and college but i didn't think much of it, that's why im also laughing cause it seemed unreal to me that they would go there but the way the episode was structured it was very clear from the beginning.
editing this was hard cause we saw things we didn't notice cause we didn't know he was bitten before, so everything he said in this episode was even more heartbreaking after knowing what we know.

i don't want to talk too much about carl because we said what we wanted to say in the video but also because i can't do that story justice, there is nothing i can say that could explain what an amazing character he was. its a world where it's very easy to grow cold and hopeless, but he never was like that, even though he grew up in this world. we talked about it today and we both wish we appreciated his character more than we did, i think we started realizing what a great character he was before season 8 started cause we saw a video (rick and carl - the way) that just showed what an amazing story that character had and it felt like we didn't pay attention and now he's dead and i swear i know im writing it but it doesn't feel real.

i don't even know what im talking about anymore, its 1:30am, this will be uploading another 2 hours so im going to bed right now

thanks for watching, hope you...something, i can't say enjoy cause this is just...okay, see you sometime xx