The Lone Wanderer, the Courier, and the Sole Survivor walk into a bar. The Courier tells a bad joke and they start to kill each other. Who wins the fight? That’s what I’m going to figure out. This is… Lone Wanderer VS The Courier VS Sole Survivor - Who Wins? (Round 1).

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Lone Wanderer VS The Courier VS Sole Survivor - Who Wins? (Round 1) (in text form)

Chronological order sounds nice, doesn’t it? The Lone Wanderer is up first. He just for simplicity sake I’m assuming they’re all men grew up inside Vault 101 which was a relatively nice vault. The overseer was a dictator, but there weren’t any crazy experiments. Because of this, the Wanderer likely doesn’t have much combat experience aside from a few scraps with the Tunnel Snakes growing up. He kills a Radroach with a BB gun at his 10th birthday party, so it’s not too much of a stretch to assume that he’s at least handled a firearm. After all, Amata gives him one when James leaves Vault 101. James, the Wanderer’s father, was a doctor. This is where the Wanderer may have the advantage. Growing up with a doctor as a parent, he probably has more medical knowledge than the average wastelander.

Next up is the Courier. This is where things get interesting. Much of his past is a mystery, but there are things we can deduce from dialog in New Vegas. He’s likely in his mid-30s, as he says in a conversation with the Lonesome Drifter that he impregnated a woman in Montana 18 years ago, in 2259. The Courier was also responsible for helping establish a community or settlement in the Divide by discovering a supply route, however, he was also the reason why it turned into the hell it is now, as he accidentally set of a few nuclear warheads. Those two pieces of information tell us a lot. Montana is about 800 miles away from Las Vegas, which means the Courier has traveled far and has managed to survive. Raider groups and hostile mutated creatures a deterrent against leaving an established community without being well-armed. =

Last up is the Sole Survivor. Like the Lone Wanderer, we don’t really know a whole lot about the Sole Survivor. One of the first lines of dialog in Fallout 4, outside of the intro cutscene, indicates that the Survivor is a veteran. Lookout, a robot onboard the USS Constitution, scans him and states that he was part of the 108th Infantry Regiment, Second Battalion. It’s likely that he’s a veteran of the Sino-American War given the fact that it was the most recent large scale conflict prior to the Great War. Also terminal entry in Fraternal Post 115 indicates that the Sole Survivor is not just your average veteran, but was revered as a wartime hero, suggesting that he is quite capable in combat. Because the Sole Survivor was a soldier before the war, we know that he received actual military training, not just what wastelanders have learned over time. He was properly trained with firearms, combat tactics, and possesses at least a basic knowledge of how to survive when in a hostile environment. Suffice it to say, he can handle himself in both a firefight and a physical confrontation.

Let’s get the obvious out of the way, the Lone Wanderer gets fucked up. He’s 19 years old and has only known life in the vault. Shooting radroaches or getting into fights with bullies doesn’t compare to a lifetime surviving in the Mojave or proper military training. The Lone Wanderer dies first, no question about it. For the Courier and Sole Survivor, there are a few things to consider. One is where they fight. No matter where it is, it’s going to be a wasteland. Maybe Nevada, maybe Boston, maybe Washington DC just to make it fair. Either way, the Courier has the advantage. He grew up in the wasteland, he knows what to look for and what to avoid. The Sole Survivor has just stepped out into the wasteland for the first time. That’s gotta mess with his mind in a not insignificant way, seeing the world you once knew destroyed.